Comment-dit-on "freeballing"?

I had gym right before French. There were good and bad parts of the mandatory showers. I did worry that I was going to get an erection  or look in the wrong direction at the wrong time. For all my curiosity about male bodies, I tried my best to avoid letting anyone satisfy their curiosity about me. I went to the showers with my towel wrapped around me, eyes fixed on the floor.

And yet, I still managed to see some cock.

One day Phillip was talking to me as we got dressed after gym. We had lockers near each other. I forget what we were talking about. Probably the upcoming class. Who knows? Phil pulled a pair of corduroy pants out of his locker and stepped into them. What's so odd about that? Well, to 16-year old me, the thought that you'd tuck your dick out of the way of the zipper was amazing. I got the last glimpse of his auburn bush as he zipped up his pants before putting on a shirt, his socks (orange), and shoes.

Wasn't there a rule that you had to wear underwear under your pants? I had worn underwear as long as I could remember. It was mandatory. My mother would know if somehow she ended up folding fewer than seven when she did the laundry. Phil wasn't wearing any underwear.

Okay, from my perspective now, freeballing isn't anything incredibly shocking. I've decided that I didn't want to wear underwear on a number of occasions. This was new to me then.

Of course, I sat next to Phil during French class. I spent the whole class thinking about how there was only one layer of fabric between his ass and the chair. Only one layer of fabric between his cock and my eyes.

Steve, the first boy I kissed

Steve was Skip's brother. He was my age. I was with him in classes. Saw him naked in the locker room after gym. Oh and elsewhere too. If there had been any emotion to what we were doing, he probably would have counted as my first boyfriend.

I forget how it started. Probably games in a tent, except Steve knew to bob your head up and down, a skill I soon acquired. We just never did it long enough. Yeah, more teen blowjobs that don't end in ejaculation. I had to wait forever before another guy actually brought me to orgasm (patience, grasshopper, all in due time).

Steve did this on the mutual pretense that we were "practicing" for when we did this with a girl. Right. Because women love a man with good blowjob skills. So we sucked face and we sucked cock.

Steve was creative and insistent. So, I had my cock in his mouth or vice versa in all sorts of strange places. Back seat of a car on the way to a scouting event. he was constantly pulling me off somewhere so we could lick each other's cock. Usually it was far enough away that no one knew what we were up to. Or maybe adults turned a blind eye to the two boys playing with each other.

We'd sit in the back of the auditorium during assemblies and suck each other's cocks, hoping they'd go down enough before we had to leave. We found any reasonably private place we could to get our cocks out. At one point, in some corner of our high school, he brought up the idea of fucking, though it never came to pass. It was always that brief bit of cocksucking, never quite enough to get either of us to cum.

On camping trips, he didn't usually share a tent with me. I didn't think about it at the time, but he always had excuses. We would find a moment to sneak off, find a little seclusion, and get out cocks out.

Steve would also do things to get others involved. On one camping trip, he got Davey aside. He was Matt's youngest brother. We were gathered together ostensibly for a quick bio lesson. In this, Davey was encouraged to yank his pants down. His cock was still fairly small with just a few wisps of hair over it. "Boy cock," Steve explained.

Then he showed his own. A much fuller bush and his erection was a lot bigger than Davey's. "Teen cock." Now it was my turn and my even larger cock was described by Steve as "man cock," even though I was actually a little younger than he was.

Steve could pretty much goad me into dropping trou whenever he wanted. Of course, when he didn't want my cock, he wasn't all that nice to me. Ah, so young to learn that you will occasionally be wanted only for your genitalia. He was a bit of an abusive prick and rebuffed all overtures of friendship, especially after he dropped out of scouts. There was a bit of mockery on his part. He marked one disagreement by giving me several hard pinches. There were bruises for a few days. It was a real shame. Like I said, if things had been different, we could have been boyfriends.

We fell out of contact after high school, although I did run into him one last time. I was 21 and was out at a gay bar with some friends. He walked up to me. "Remember me?" Sure I did. He had realized that he had been a dick to me when we were in high school together. He probably also realized that we had missed out on a golden opportunity had he been a little nice.

Still, when he suggested I take him home for sex, I said, "don't spoil the moment." I haven't seen him since.

Bare in a tent

When I went camping, I slept naked as often as I could. At home, I didn't want my parents to walk in and find me bare, so I still wore underwear at home. Off on an camping trip, I'd get in the bag and lose the underwear. One winter trip, I'm sharing a tent with Don, Matt's brother. (Matt had two brothers in our troop. I saw all three cocks.) Don was a year younger than me. I saw him at school all the time. He was a friendly kid with blond curly hair. He liked Broadway musicals and other artsy things. Yeah. Maybe.

I had packed a blanket because I knew that the lining of my sleeping bag felt cool to my skin. It could keep you alive in winter temperatures, but there was no promise you'd be happy. Don was complaining about how cold he was. "I'd share my blanket with you if I could, but it's not like I can split it between two sleeping bags."

I wasn't trying to be a dick about things, but I was toasty in my blanket cocoon and I wanted to get some sleep. The scoutmaster was going to be up early, yelling for us to start our day. Then I noticed that Don's teeth were chattering. His bag was probably a little better than mine and if he toughed it out, he eventually would have been warm. But eventually can be a long time coming when you're cold and there was going to be lot of shivering before he warmed up that bag.

Our survival fitness training had told us that skin-to-skin was the fastest way to warm someone up. You've got a hypothermia victim, warm him with your bare skin against his. I told Don he could share my bag if he wanted to get warm, but since I was already naked, he would have to be too. He promised and I unzipped my bag, opening the blanket a bit. The cold air started to seep in.

There was motion next to me and then a pink blur as Don got in next to me. We were face to face and I reached over him to zip my bag back up. "You naked?" I asked. He confirmed it and so did I, running a hand along his side along his hip. Two naked teens in a blanket. His skin was cool against mine. I guess his sleeping bag really had been cold.

After a moment, his cock was poking me in the stomach. "You're poking me," and I reached down to move his cock out of the way. No intention of copping a feel. Honest. I didn't notice any hair as I grabbed him and shifted his cock off to an angle. Now my cock was poking him. He reached down and moved mine. We shifted each other's cocks about for a bit (which was guaranteed to make sure that they were going to continue to poke).

I didn't notice any hair in his crotch, but then I didn't spend as much time fishing about as I should have. This is one of those "if I knew then" moments. We're naked and hard in a single sleeping bag. How dumb was I at that age?

After a bit of our hard cocks smacking each other, we decided to get some sleep. We weren't going to manage it face to face, so I convinced Don to roll over so we could sleep spoon fashion. We went to sleep with my cock nestled against his buns. We were warm and it felt good.

Dares in a tent

I no longer had the bad boys on the bus, but something else was coming into my life: the great outdoors. One of my friends convinced me to join a scout troop. Camping in the woods? Okay. After a few camping trips, I was invited to share a tent with my Patrol Leader and the Assistant Patrol Leader. They were juniors in high school while I was still in 8th grade. Both were taller than me. Matt was lean and blond. Skip had a fleshier body and reddish-brown hair.

We're all in our sleeping bags and Matt says that we should do some dares. The tent is lit dimly with a flashlight, set so that it creates just enough light to see by. Skip dares Matt to put his mouth on Skip's dick for one whole minute. Matt says he'll take that dare. Skip pulls down his underwear and Matt's head goes down. It's dark in the tent, so I'm not sure if they're trying to fake me out. I'm looking at my watch, telling them every fifteen seconds how long it's been. It looked like Matt put his mouth on Skip's dick, but what if they then go and tell me I was wrong. I'll participate, but I'm not going yet. I may be young and naïve, but I'm not completely stupid.

Okay, so Matt dares Skip to put his mouth on my dick for one whole minute. I'm still not sure about this, but as Skip comes over, there's enough light to see that his underwear is now off and his dick is hard. So is mine. I take my underwear down and Skip puts his mouth down on my dick for that statutory minute, while Matt counts the seconds. I wish I had noted the date. This is the first time someone's mouth is on my dick. I wished it had been Matt.

Okay, I was in. Now Skip got to dare me. He dared me to put my mouth on Matt's dick for one whole minute. I agree and Matt pulls down his underwear. He's hard, his dick sticking up from a cloud of blond hair. And now, for the first time in my life, I have a cock in my mouth.

Unfortunately, none of us seem to have grasped the basics of cocksucking. You don't just hold it in your mouth. If you didn't already know this, you should have clicked the blue button on this blog, because you're too young to be reading this. Well, you clicked the orange button, so if you've never sucked cock before: bob your head up and down!

Where was I? Oh, yeah, in a tent with two older boys. We're down to t-shirts only (it was a cool night). The next dare was to let Matt rub his cock in my butt crack (where did they get this stuff?). After a bit of dry humping, all the pretext of dares is over. And though it was fun to rub my cock between Matt's butt cheeks, I wanted to get back to the oral.

"I want to put my mouth on your dick again," I said to Matt.

"It was just up against your butt." I wiped it with his t-shirt, perhaps a little too roughly. He told me to be gentle. I said I was sorry and went back to suckling on his dick.

By the end, each of us had had his mouth on the other two dicks. I think that Matt and I were more into this than Skip, although my memory may be wrong. That was my only sexual encounter with either of them. The next camping trip, they invited another scout to share a tent with them. I was off on my own., but they had younger brothers, one my age, the other a year younger.

The boys on the bus

What do you do on a long ride home from school? If you're a bad boy, you beat off in the back seats. I wanted to be one of the bad boys. This was a long time ago and I've forgotten just about every name.

The baddest of the bad boys we'll call Wayne (because I've wholly forgotten his name). Curly hair, narrowed eyes, and a scar on his lip. He was a thirteen year-old tough and he instigated the whole thing. He always sat all the way in the back. I sat nearer the front.

One day, I realized that his rhythmic motions could only mean one thing: he was beating off on the bus. When enough seats were emptied, he was taking out his cock and stroking out a load. I started sitting further back, even though I knew my presence was unwelcome. It was enough that as he walked past me to get off the bus I knew that he had blasted out a load that was now soaking into his underwear. This was fodder for my after school masturbation session.

At the time, I was doing it three times a day. I'd beat off quickly before my morning shower. I'd beat off again when I got home from school (either in the bathroom or in my bedroom) and finally I'd beat off before getting to sleep. After I realized Wayne and his friends were beating off on the bus, I started wondering about the details. What did his cock look like? How did he do it? I started sitting further back despite the grim stares.

Due to my persistence, I managed to figure out that whichever one was doing it would drop his pants and underwear past his knees, plop his bare butt on the seat, hike his shirt up, and have at it. Eventually, I worked up the courage to walk back there and say, "I know what you're doing. You're mastrabating." That's not a typo. I remember mispronouncing the word. It didn't matter. To these guys that was way to technical. They were beating off.

I said I would do it too and I got to watch as Wayne did what I knew he had been doing. This was a first for me and I was aroused and frightened at the same time. What if the bus driver figured out what we were doing. I did, after all. (I've since concluded that he knew and figured that no one was being hurt or offended.) Wayne shot a load onto his belly, mopping it up with his t-shirt. Both his t-shirt and briefs were kinda gray. I doubt any cum stains were going to matter anyway.

A few days later, I made good on my promise. Wayne wasn't there, but others reminded me it was my turn. Down with the pants, the vinyl seat of the bus cool on my butt. I was probably hard before I finished opening my pants. I knew the protocol and that I had a limited time before my stop.

I enjoyed being watched as I stroked myself. First time for an audience. Pretty soon, I tensed up and shot my second load of the day. I wiped myself up on my underwear, planning to change them when I got home.

I figured after that I'd be part of the gang. Nope. Things had escalated but I wasn't welcome. Wayne had somehow convinced Mike to blow him. I didn't see much of it, since a classmate who particularly disliked me kept hitting my head whenever I tried to see. Mike came up with a very red face. Wayne's face went red near the end. I assume he blew a load in Mike's mouth, but all I knew was that I had taken enough pokes to the forehead for the day.

The end of the school year brought an end to that. The next year, I wasn't going to be taking that bus. From then on, I walked to school. No more beat-off sessions in the back of the bus for me.

In the Beginning

I knew as a little boy that I wasn't the way they expected little boys to be. I fantasized about the other boys penises before I even started puberty. Tried to sneak peeks in the restroom, but didn't want to get caught (it'd take years before I started exploring watersports). At an early age I found my parents copy of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (but were afraid to ask). I was deeply traumatized by the chapter on homosexuality.

As I hit my teens, I began to develop hair in places, which I knew was a "secondary sexual characteristic. " No one ever talk about the "primary sexual characteristics." I think that's your cock and balls. Anyway, that word "sexual" got me and I worried that if people knew I had "sexual characteristics" they would also be able to figure out what I was sexually interested in.

Due to the infamous Dr. Reuben (who probably kept me closeted a few extra years) I did know about masturbation. I did know that homosexuals put things in their butts. In a way, this was useful information. So, while I was terrified that someone would find out my deep, dark secret, I did know that my penis and anus could be sites of pleasure.

I knew that the thought of a man in woman's clothing was terrifying, not arousing (so I couldn't be a homosexual, see?), but that's what that quack said that gay men wanted. I wanted to so something with my male classmates. Probably rub penises. It would take a while.

The Cocksman Tells His Tale

Every once in a while, I find myself telling or remembering a story about something sexual in my life. After regaling one guy with a string of adventures, I thought, "I should just blog this."

Here it is. I don't promise to get everything in chronological order. I'm going to change names (not to protect the innocent, but to protect me). I'm going to make it as true as I can and as real as I'm able.